Megan Says, "I Won't"

This guy Philip Markoff, the alleged Craigslist killer, just keeps getting better and better.

Police found 16 pairs of women's panties and 60 pairs of Flex-Cuffs in his home. Evidently he used the cuffs to tie up his victims, but don't know if the panties were souvenirs or fresh out of the pack.

Allegedly Phil was also looking for transsexuals and men for sex on Craigslist.

His fiancee, Megan McAllister, visited him in jail yesterday for the first time. You'll be happy to know the August 2009 wedding is now off. Think maybe she should have a chat with Rihanna.

How Does This Happen?

How does it happen that Don Cheadle went from the Oscar nominated star of "Hotel Rwanda" to "Hotel for Dogs" in less than five years?

Something ain't right.

Ghost Hunter Joins the Hunted

Old, old picture of dead dude

Hans Holzer was the original Ghostbuster, and now he's joined the spectral army.

He wrote some 140 books on the paranormal and was able to support himself in life by chasing the dead.

According to the NY Times:

Mr. Holzer saw life on the other side in sharp detail. As he described it to the Web site in 2005, it is strangely like this side, and bureaucratic to boot. The dead who become restless and wish to return to Earth for another go-round must fall in line and register with a clerk.

Hope he's not stuck on a long line.

Fiat to Bail Out Chrysler's Sorry Ass

Word is that tomorrow pen will be put to paper and Italian Fiat Group SpA will become a partner with Chrysler LLC in order to keep Chrysler out of bankruptcy filing.

Of course it remains to be seen if this will work, but isn't that what makes life exciting?

The autoworkers' unions in the U.S. and Canada have agreed to make concessions and banks that hold Chrysler's debt are willing to take $2 billion instead of the nearly $7 billion they're owed.

Leave the gun, bring the cannoli.

No Sex in the City

News is that Matthew Broderick and his bride of 12 years, Sarah Jessica Parker, are going to have twin girls!

Apparently they are being gestated by a surrogate.

I think it's a safe bet they aren't being grown with Sarah Jessica's eggs since, at the age of 44, most of her eggs have probably left the henhouse. Or at the very least would produce children who resemble flounder.

No word on whether or not Matthew's sperm is involved.

Mazel tov, you crazy lovebirds!

Off-Key Musical Chairs

"People in the cheap seats clap your hands. Rest of you, rattle your jewelry."

The hierarchy of the New York Yankees baseball franchise is acknowledging that some people might be having a difficult time paying outrageous prices for season tickets. So, they're chopping the prices of some seats and giving some of those who paid full price 'give-backs.'

They are hoping that this little price cut will fill up those cushy albeit empty seats that frame home plate and the dugouts.

Please don't be misled into thinking that they're doing this out of the goodness of their hearts, since their hearts have no goodness.

As reported in today's NY Times:

Robert K. Passikoff, president of Brand Keys, a brand and research consultant, said, “It’s not about being good to our fans, it’s about, ‘Oh my God, we’ve priced the tickets too high.’ ”

Can An Annulment be Far Behind?

Now that Mrs. Gibson has filed for divorce, Mr. Gibson apparently feels that it's safe to take the mistress out in public. The picture above is from the X-Men premiere.

Oksana Grigorieva is a Russian composer and Timothy Dalton's ex. Ex what, I don't know.

Anyway, since Mel portrays himself as such a super Roman Catholic, how long will it be before the Church grants him an annulment of his 28 year marriage that produced 7 children? Probably not all that long. As for the price tag, we'll have to see about that.

Unless his first marriage is annulled, Mel could not remarry in the Catholic Church, for those of you who might not know too much about this craziness.

Fans Get Schrapnel Souvenirs

I didn't really need an excuse not to go to a NASCAR race, but I'm sure a lot of people do.

Well, here's one for you. There was a big crash at Talladega yesterday and seven fans were hurt by flying debris. One person's jaw is probably broken.

Okay, I truly don't understand why folks go to a track and watch cars plastered with advertisements drive around in a circle for hundreds of laps. If this is entertainment, I'm Ben Vereen.

Even if I wanted to watch them and smell the aroma of burning fossil fuel and tires I think I would be concerned that a rogue vehicle might hurtle in my direction. Okay, it's not a given, but a definite possibility.

Is getting out alive the thrill people are hoping for? Or is it more of a thrill to say Jeff Gordon's grill is imbedded in your ass?

Don't Tase Me, Bro!

Jayson Williams in better days

when he was on trial for murder

It was bad enough getting convicted for reckless manslaughter ~ by the way, shouldn't he be in jail for that? ~ but former NBA player, Jayson Williams, reportedly went batshit in a Manhattan hotel today.

That little incident in which he trashed the room ended up with him getting tasered and taken to St. Vincent's Hospital.

No report on why he might have been in the hotel room except maybe because it was there. The hotel officials told the police that Williams was suicidal, although I didn't know that getting generally violent was evidence of a suicidal nature.

This Little Piggie Got French Kissed

Kids, don't do this or your brother will inherit everything

Yes, the swine flu is going to kill us all. Well, first it will wipe out Mexico, then it will kill the stupid kids who went to Mexico on spring break and brought home the virus, and then it will kill the rest of us.

Before it actually does, every talking head on television will be blathering about it, hoping you'll stay tuned to watch the Viagra ads spliced in between the panic so you might buy these EFD aids so you can die with a hard-on.

Over 30 years ago we had another swine flu outbreak (better make that a panic) and guess what? Humans still populate the earth.

Nothing Americans do better than getting their panties in a bunch. Much better to freak out over all the hoopla rather than spend the time washing their hands with soap and water and, of course, not tongue kissing animals.

Craig Not Budging on His List

Craig Newmark, founder of Craigslist, is not DO YOU HEAR HIM? not going to discontinue the Erotic Section.

Next thing you know people will be saying it's his fault the Craigslist Killer murdered the unfortunate Julissa Brisman.

Note to potential killers: You shouldn't be texting people while you're about to rob, beat and murder an exotic masseuse like the asshole pictured above. It makes you too easy to catch. Remember: just cause you're in med school doesn't mean you have any common sense.

My Worst Nightmare

I'm sure most people would find this picture of a woman in a British nature garden utterly charming. Not me.

I'd rather be in a bathtub of snakes, but I'm sure that says more about me than it does about butterflies.

Leno Keeping His Chin Up

Word comes from Los Angeles that late night host, Jay Leno, drove himself to the hospital Thursday night and sorta checked himself in.

No one's saying what's wrong with him except when he got to the hospital he 'complained of not feeling well.' That narrows it down.

Fear not, he's allegedly cracking jokes with the hospital staff.

Leno will be 59 on Tuesday and has never missed a scheduled day of work in the 17 years he's hosted the Tonight Show.

Possibly he's realized that agreeing to host a five night a week primetime program for NBC later this year is akin to career suicide.

Jumpin' Jack Flash Player

This has become the story of my life.

I can no longer view videos or even some pictures on line because I don't have the latest version of Adobe's Flash Player.

It's not for lack of trying. I have tried many times to download the upgrade or upload the downgrade as the case may be. It's just not working.

I changed my internet settings. I downloaded a license agreement that should match the one imbedded in the flash player, all to no avail.

I e-mailed Adobe's customer service and asked them for help and I'm still waiting.

And waiting.

Lohan Dispels Rumors by Acting Like an Ass

In case you had any doubt what a sorry sack of shit Lindsay Lohan is, try to catch a repeat performance of her guest shot with Ellen DeGeneres today.

One wonders why LaLohan would appear on television supposedly to set the record straight, because you know all those tabloids say those horrible things about her, and then proceed to babble nonsensically.

First of all, Lindsay sounds as if she inhales Havana cigars, and lots of 'em. She claims to be working a lot. Doing what, she didn't say.

She didn't actually deny allegations, but managed to turn the phrases around and put them back in Ellen's lap. When Ellen suggested that maybe Lindsay should stay out of clubs even if just to avoid bad publicity, Lohan said she's not doing any such thing. Of course what she really said didn't make as much sense as that, but that's what she meant.

I think.

Crap Shoot

So what's a 22 year-old betrothed med student with a gambling jones going to do? Oh, wait, I know. Slaughter exotic masseuses after he robs them.

Authorities are scrambling to find a motive for Philip Markoff's alleged targeting of Craigslist chicks for robbery, beatings and the occasional murder.

They think he wanted to pay off gambling debts. Yeah, that would explain it.

Listen up, assholes, you rob a bank if you want to pay off your gambling debt. Not a hooker. Or you figure out how to get into grandpa's retirement fund.

People who know Mr. Markoff, or just peed next to him in the men's room once, are coming out of the woodwork. Some claim they never noticed anything wrong, others claim to have been aware of his 'dark side.'

It will be interesting to see how this all plays out.

Mia Farrow Bein' Crazy

Horizontal stripes won't help

Mia Farrow announced in a blog in The Huffington Post yesterday that she's starting a hunger strike on April 27th to protest the crisis in Darfur.

It's nice to have a cause and something to believe in, but personally, Mia, I don't think anyone who is in a position to try to 'fix' things is going to give a rat's ass that you're existing on water.

Her last line is particularly ominous:

And when I can no longer continue, I pray another will take my place, and another-- until finally there is justice and peace for Darfur's people.

What does this mean ...'when I can no longer continue'...? Does that mean when she's starved to death?

Someone give her a (gentle) slap or two, please.

You Don't Have to be a Millionaire to Buy Your Very Own Slumdog

It'll just cost you 200,000 pounds. Little Rubina Ali's father has the 9-year-old up for sale according to a British tabloid, only her daddy's calling it 'adoption' not actual 'sale.'

Personally, I think she's probably worth every penny.

Madonna Determined to be Horse's Ass

Once again, Madonna has been thrown from the saddle.

Apparently, Ms. Ciccone Ritchie thinks that if she is some sort of equestrienne everyone will think she's just a few deaths removed from the monarchy of Great Britain instead of just a little gutter snipe from Detroit. Doggedly, she returned to riding after breaking some bones in a fall from a horse in 2005.

This time she blames her tumble on the papparazzi startling her steed as she rode in the Hamptons over the weekend.

Girl just cannot catch a break unless it's to her femur. It was just the other week the Malawi government refused her permission to adopt yet another one of their citizens.

Better luck with the horse.

There's No Place Like Home

The folks sitting behind the dugout should start bringing tomatoes.

You can't say the fans at yesterday's New York Yankees game didn't get to see a record breaker. Unfortunately, it wasn't the good kind. In their history, the Yankees have never allowed 14 runs against them in an inning, until yesterday that is.

Chien-Ming Wang, former wunderkind of the pitching staff, now has an E.R.A. of 34.50. If they send him down to the minors he could be claimed by another team; that is, assuming any other team thinks he has the potential to bounce back from his horrendous 0-3 start.

Can we just blame Wang for the Yankees hideous start this year? No, the bullpen is erratic, but then again, there isn't a pitcher in the pen who is geared to pitch as many innings as they've been required to this season.

All this is happening to a team that just opened its $1.5 - $2 billion stadium with a payroll of approximately $209 million.

If I was paying over $2000 a seat to watch crap like a Wang start, at the very least I would want my money back.

Here We Go Again

Playground?

Today we have the story of yet another mountain climber (yeah, because it's there, yada, yada, yada) who falls 1,000 feet into a ravine and ~get this ~ drags two teenagers with her.

Karin Vandenberg was hiking with her son and Steve Holding (who happens to be a billionaire), his wife and son on Mt. Olympus in Utah. Well, she fell. No surprise since none of the climbers had ropes or crampons to help with climbing on ice.

Ms. Vandenberg is dead and her son and the Holding boy are in serious condition.

Isn't there something criminal about dragging two teenagers up a mountain and then almost killing them? Wouldn't it have been better to watch the kids play soccer on a nice, flat field?

Oh, excuse me. That wouldn't have been exciting enough.

In my mind this mountain climbing lunacy and dragging minors along is akin to locking toddlers in cars when the temperature hovers around 90 degrees.

It just ain't right.

Going Out on a Limb Here ...

Unfortunately this is going to be just one more place where you're going to hear about 'singing sensation' Susan Boyle.

In case you haven't had any contact with the media in the last week, Ms. Boyle appeared on "Britain's Got Talent" and caused an uprising with her a cappella singing. No one could believe that a 47-year-old woman who seems to be working on a unibrow could sing as well as she!

Well now she's everywhere.

Allegedly she's never been kissed, lives with a cat (or cats) and yet has this wonderful singing voice.

Yes, Ms. Boyle has a nice voice. Spectacular, no. Is the world just intrigued that a woman like her can sing? Or that a woman like her would go on national television and sing?

Obviously she's got some chutzpah to begin with or she wouldn't have gone on the program.

Are we all just too hungry for a Cinderella story? Have we blown the need for the winning underdog out of proportion?

Soon-Yi or Sue Me?

Fashion Icon, Woody Allen

American Apparel used an image of Woody Allen on a billboard ad without his permission. It was a picture of him from the movie "Annie Hall" wherein he was dressed as an Hasidic Jew. Mr. Allen has sued them for $10 million.

American Apparel has decided to focus on Woody's lurid sexual history in an attempt to prove that in no way is the use of his image worth $10 million. Ten cents, maybe. They're bringing up ex-lover Mia Farrow's allegations that he sexually abused their daughter, not to mention how the Woodman up and married Farrow's adopted daughter.

Personally, I find the concept that Woody Allen even has a sex life to be nauseating, but that's just me.

Says Allen, "I've always been, from the start of my career, a special taste."

I don't even want to contemplate what he tastes like. Blech.

India's Next Top Model

You go, girls!

Nuns on the Run

Ah! The spirit of the Spanish Inquisition lives on in the Catholic Church!

The Vatican is conducting an 'investigation' of nuns in the U.S.

The Leadership Conference of Women Religious was informed March 10th that the Vatican will be investigating their 'initiatives' in particular areas that are of concern.

Ordinatio sacerdotalis for starters. This is the doctrine that says that only men can be priests. Period. End of story.

Dominus Jesus, a declaration that, in part, insisted that non-Catholic Christians are “in a gravely deficient situation in comparison with those who, in the church, have the fullness of the means of salvation” and that non-Catholic Christian communities suffer “defects."

And last, but certainly not least, “the problem of homosexuality,” or as the current Pope wrote when he was Cardinal Ratzinger in 1986: “Although the particular inclination of the homosexual person is not a sin, it is a more or less strong tendency ordered toward an intrinsic moral evil; and thus the inclination itself must be seen as an objective disorder.”

Right.

Hmmmm, let's see American nuns don't want to promote the Vatican's crap. And that's a bad thing?

Here's hoping the nuns box the ears of the investigators and whack them with their yardsticks.

New York Archbishop is Happy Dude

Today Archbishop Timothy Dolan was installed as New York City's new Catholic shepherd.

From his editorial that appears in today's New York Daily News:

I aim to be a happy bishop, sharing joys and laughs with you. So you will see me at the St. Patrick's parade, and at the new Yankee Stadium... and

My mission is to remind New Yorkers that they must welcome God to this "capital of the world" as warmly as they have welcomed so many others.

He took the opportunity during his homily at this afternoon's installation to mention social issues such as abortion (he's against it) and the sanctity of marriage (he's for it).

He also mentioned that the church lacks “power and clout, property and prestige.” And further: “Forget it. Those days are gone, if they ever existed at all.”

That presumably is for those who might still be planning to sue the Church for sexual offenses committed by priests. Fuggedabowdit.

Russian Coon Wanted Dinner and a Movie First

You may find this hard to believe, but a Russian guy, Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken binge one weekend. No, that's not the unbelievable part. Whilst drunk (or so they say) Alexander thought it would be a great idea to rape a raccoon. I don't care how drunk you get, how do you ever think that's a good idea?

When he leaped on the animal to do the deed, the raccoon bit off his penis.

The most amazing part of this story? Russian surgeons actually tried to reattach Alexander's mangled member.

No report on their success.

Kids Do the Darndest Things Redux

Warning: This is not real

No matter how old you are, an inability to distinguish reality from fantasy can be a distinct drawback.

Take the recent case of 9-year-old Damori Miles. Damori's favorite PlayStation game was "Smackdown Raw." Deciding to imitate Jeff Harding's swan dive in the game, Damori fashioned himself a parachute and then jumped off the roof of his building. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

Yes, kids are impressionable, but there's a big line between that and delusional.

How long before Damori's mother sues Sony and everyone else in the Western world?

Bounty: The Quicker Picker-Upper

Ron Paul has a terrific idea on how to stop the piracy that's become all too common place these days.

Hire bounty hunters. Yes, there's a provision in the Constitution for it. We won't get into the technicalities here.

We all know how successful the U.S. has been by putting a bounty on Osama Bin Laden's head, but seriously, this could really work.

Andrew Grotto, a senior national security analyst with the Center for American Progress, has said: “What happens when a ship flying under Congress accidentally takes out an aid ship bound for Somalia? At what time does an act seem pirate-like enough to cross the line? Do we really want these snap judgments being made on the fly in waters thousands of miles away from Washington? This is not Johnny Depp we’re dealing with.”

Nevertheless, it sounds like it could be fun.

If the 'Answers in Genesis', What the Hell was the Question?

I'll admit it, I don't get this commercial or whatever it's supposed to be. Produced by a Christian evangelical group, Answers in Genesis, they make the Taliban look like Grandma's Quilting Bee.

Spector of Evil

Finally! Phil Spector was convicted of second degree murder in the six year old murder case of Lana Clarkson. The first jury was hung, and probably not well hung, back in 2007.

Murder not withstanding, Spector should be imprisoned just for his offenses against hair.

Ach Lieber!

A woman jumped into the polar bear enclosure at a German zoo for some unknown reason and got her ass bitten by one of the older bears who obviously thought she was an early gift from the Easter bunny.

It will be interesting to hear her rationale for pulling this stunt. A German reality show perhaps?

Kennedy's Appointment to Vatican Aborted

Man, is she wrinkled!

Story is that President Obama was going to appoint Caroline Kennedy to be Ambassador to the Vatican. After all, she supported him in his bid for the presidency and wasn't able to get herself appointed to the senate via New York's Governor Patterson.

Well, the Vatican doesn't think that's going to be a happenin' thing. After all, Ms. Kennedy is a pro-choice sort of girl and abortion is a big no-no at the Vatican.

So, it's back to the drawing board for Caroline's future plans. Hmmm. What could she be appointed to that wouldn't be controversial, important or necessary?

Happy Easter!

Nazi Bunnies Prepare to Take Over the World

I saw it on gawker.com so it must be true.

Caribou in the Headlights

I feel sorry for Levi Johnston.

Here we have a high school dropout whose mother was busted on drug charges recently. He has a baby mama who unfortunately for him is the eldest daughter of the Governor of Alaska.

When the aforementioned Governor was running for Vice-President of the United States he was dragged out of Wasilla, Alaska and paraded in front of the American populace. There was talk of his engagement to his baby mama. Once the election was over and they had no further use for him, they hoped he'd be gone.

Well, that's not the way things have turned out. Ill advisedly or not he recently appeared on Tyra Banks' show and revealed some things the ambitious Governor wasn't too pleased with. Like he took up residence with the Palins and stayed in Bristol's room as her due date neared. The Palins say he just 'stayed there' for two weeks.

His mother and sister also appeared on the show complaining they don't get to see baby Tripp but once a month at most.

Levi comes across as just a nice looking kid, not too bright, who got caught in the headlights of a Presidential campaign. Palins, just shut up and leave the kid alone. Levi, go back to school.

Stamps of Approval

All is not lost, America.

Today the U.S. Postal Service unveiled the new Simpsons stamps. By the looks of it they will be released once the new rates are in effect.

Come on, guys! Forty-four cents each! It's worth it, even if you never put them on an envelope.

That's Amore!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been accused of a lot of faux pas, but the latest is probably not true.

Allegedly he told survivors of Italy's worst earthquake in thirty years to think of their displacement as a camping trip. Well, there is no record of him saying that on film or tape, so methinks it's just a vicious rumor.

I hope.

Waxing Poetic

Pssst! He's not real!

I'm sorry, there is just something extremely creepy about making wax replicas of people. I'm sure that based on the popularity of Madame Tussaud's museums all over the world I can safely assume that I am not in the majority with this opinion.

Nevertheless, Michelle Obama's replica joined Barack's in the Washington museum and the visitors seem to have really warmed up to them. Hopefully, not too much or they'll melt.

No Contest

This just doesn't seem right

I have been remiss in my television pseudo-entertainment reporting duties, and for that I apologize.

Take Dancing with the Stars. Please. Since I first reported on this season's contestants, about half of them were injured and had to drop out. Since then, another half have been eliminated. Last night David Alan Grier was booted off.

Fan favorites are Shawn Johnson, teen-aged gymnast who has her very own stalker, and Melissa who was shafted by "The Bachelor."

I have foresaken American Idol. Yup, didn't watch last night and probably won't watch ever again if I can maintain my sanity. Simple reason ~ it sucks. Enough said.

Gag Order

Doomed

A total of 14 companies are being penalized over $1 million for failing to report safety hazards promptly.

According to the NY Times:

The companies were penalized for failing to promptly report sales of children's clothing with drawstrings through the hood or neck, the Consumer Product Safety Commission said.
These drawstrings can get caught in nearby objects and cause children to get trapped or strangled.

Personally I had no idea that in May of 2006 the CPSC determined that children's garments with hood and neck drawstrings would be considered defective.

Now no one wants to keep kids safe more than I do, but somehow I have a hard time thinking of drawstrings as defective because children could be strangled with them. Are we going a little bit off the deep end with all this? If the drawstrings aren't 6 feet long is there really a problem? Theoretically making little boys wear ties is the same thing, right?

I long for the days when the only clothing problem little girls had was wearing patent leather shoes so the boys could look up your dress.

To Posto or Not to Posto

Was Jimmy Fallon really treated unfairly at Posto in NY or is he really just a little no-talent little shit?

And why do we care?

Mainly because we understand that Carol is a fabulous waitress and the pizza is terrific at Posto. We have seen more people behave badly in public places because they are 'celebrities' than we care to count, and we suspect Jimmy is another one of those schlubs.

Word to the Wise: If you're going to Twitter, take your head out of your ass first and think.

When is a Man's Home Not His Castle?

Being an overpaid, untalented movie actor isn't what it used to be. Ask Nicolas Cage, he'll tell you.

He's being forced to sell the castle he bought in 2006 in Bavaria because of the economy. Reportedly he hasn't even been to the place in nearly a year.

Before you start weeping, be advised he still has his castle in England which he's owned since July of 2007, but yeah the economy is bad.

Jiverly Talkin'

You know the drill ~ angry middle aged guy = crazy killer

The New York Daily News seems to have the most current information about the latest in a long line of crazy men who get hold of weapons and kill a whole bunch of people at once.

Binghamton, NY's madman, Jiverly Voong (which could be an alias but who the hell cares) was your typical loony tune before shooting and killing a dozen people yesterday.

First of all let's get this clear, despite the fact that he's wearing a New York Yankees shirt in this picture, he was not a Yankees fan. Someone asked him if he liked the Yankees and "he said, 'No, I don't like that team. I don't like America. America sucks.'"

Well America is where he got his guns so at least he liked that part.

He came from Vietnam originally and was purported to be a 'good neighbor,' but his wife and kids left him at some point.

And then the rest (which you probably guessed):

Quiet type. "He was a very nice guy, but he seemed very, very depressed."

Gun nut. "He went to target practice on Saturday. He said he had two guns, one in his glove compartment. He was always talking about his guns."

No surprises there.

Wasilla Hillbillies ~ New Episode!

Love the bracelet! But yellow's not your color.

Diana Palin, half sister of Todd, husband of the Governor of Alaska, Sarah, has been arrested and charged with two felony counts of burglary in addition to misdemeanor counts of criminal trespass and theft.

Diana has been linked to two break-ins at the same house in Wasilla.

Granted I don't have vast experience in the criminal underworld, but I'm wondering why someone would burgle the same house twice in one week.

Considering that Alaska doesn't have all that many people, isn't it odd that people associated with the Governor keep getting arrested? I mean, wasn't Levi Johnston's mother busted for selling drugs not that long ago? Is Wasilla the crime capital of the state?

I know, I know. Too many questions.

Beach Blanket Bozo

Technically this fashion item is not a dress. It's actually a bathing suit manufactured by a company called "It Figures."

The creator of this beachwear would like you to believe that if you wear this item to the shore no one will think that you're fat. There must be some other reason why you would be wearing a pup tent to frolic in the waves.

Don't be fooled, ladies. No one will think you're any thinner if you're wearing this creation than if you went to the beach wearing a thong and coconut shells.

From the Land of the Rising Fun

A Japanese company named Gamu Toys has released a Barack Obama Action Figure. Yes, that's him pictured above wearing a suit from the Rodney Dangerfield Collection.

The accessories include a huge American flag, neckties in red and blue, and different hands. Yup, you read that right, but none of them are flipping the bird.

Please to enjoy.

Jockey Shorts

Excellent way to kill yourself and a horse

I was known to enjoy a good horse race in my day, but when they started shooting thoroughbreds on the racetrack like a carnival game I opted out.

Not to mention that riding a horse can be dangerous too, although a misstep doesn't necessarily mean you'll be shot. They didn't shoot Christopher Reeve, now did they?

This picture was taken yesterday at Fox Hunters' Chase which I believe is in Britain. There's no word on whether jockey, G Gallagher, and horse, De Luain Gorm, are okay, but then again, there's no word that they aren't all right.

It seems to me that horses don't really like to jump over those hedges that crop up on racetracks from time to time, yet that seems to be part of the fun, like pulling wings off flies.

Repeat After Me: There is Nothing Wrong with the Economy

There's something basically wrong with a gown

that makes Kate Moss look fat

So this very rich British dude, Sir Philip Green, comes to the US and opens a store in Soho. That's him pictured above with Kate Moss. Kate, it might be time to get back on that diet of Fresca and cocaine.

And guess what? The people who want to be hip go absolutely nuts! It's like the audition for "America's Next Top Model" all over again except all they want to do is spend their money!

They can't buy the frocks fast enough. As one shopper said as she was leaving, she just doesn't bother to look at the price if it's hot. And she doesn't mean the weather. She meant that t-shirt she bought with sequins on the sleeves.

Gift Exchange at the Palace

The Obamas took some time out of their busy day to stop by and visit Queen Elizabeth II. Personally, I had no idea she was so short.

They gave her an iPod with video on it of her 2007 visit to the colonies. She gave them what she gives all visiting dignitaries ~ a framed picture of herself.

And there she is with that handbag again! What in the hell is she doing wandering around Buckingham Palace with that friggin' purse on her arm?

I think she's channeling Sophia Petrillo.