Spector of Evil

Finally! Phil Spector was convicted of second degree murder in the six year old murder case of Lana Clarkson. The first jury was hung, and probably not well hung, back in 2007.

Murder not withstanding, Spector should be imprisoned just for his offenses against hair.

Ach Lieber!

A woman jumped into the polar bear enclosure at a German zoo for some unknown reason and got her ass bitten by one of the older bears who obviously thought she was an early gift from the Easter bunny.

It will be interesting to hear her rationale for pulling this stunt. A German reality show perhaps?

Kennedy's Appointment to Vatican Aborted

Man, is she wrinkled!

Story is that President Obama was going to appoint Caroline Kennedy to be Ambassador to the Vatican. After all, she supported him in his bid for the presidency and wasn't able to get herself appointed to the senate via New York's Governor Patterson.

Well, the Vatican doesn't think that's going to be a happenin' thing. After all, Ms. Kennedy is a pro-choice sort of girl and abortion is a big no-no at the Vatican.

So, it's back to the drawing board for Caroline's future plans. Hmmm. What could she be appointed to that wouldn't be controversial, important or necessary?

Happy Easter!

Nazi Bunnies Prepare to Take Over the World

I saw it on gawker.com so it must be true.

Caribou in the Headlights

I feel sorry for Levi Johnston.

Here we have a high school dropout whose mother was busted on drug charges recently. He has a baby mama who unfortunately for him is the eldest daughter of the Governor of Alaska.

When the aforementioned Governor was running for Vice-President of the United States he was dragged out of Wasilla, Alaska and paraded in front of the American populace. There was talk of his engagement to his baby mama. Once the election was over and they had no further use for him, they hoped he'd be gone.

Well, that's not the way things have turned out. Ill advisedly or not he recently appeared on Tyra Banks' show and revealed some things the ambitious Governor wasn't too pleased with. Like he took up residence with the Palins and stayed in Bristol's room as her due date neared. The Palins say he just 'stayed there' for two weeks.

His mother and sister also appeared on the show complaining they don't get to see baby Tripp but once a month at most.

Levi comes across as just a nice looking kid, not too bright, who got caught in the headlights of a Presidential campaign. Palins, just shut up and leave the kid alone. Levi, go back to school.

Stamps of Approval

All is not lost, America.

Today the U.S. Postal Service unveiled the new Simpsons stamps. By the looks of it they will be released once the new rates are in effect.

Come on, guys! Forty-four cents each! It's worth it, even if you never put them on an envelope.

That's Amore!

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been accused of a lot of faux pas, but the latest is probably not true.

Allegedly he told survivors of Italy's worst earthquake in thirty years to think of their displacement as a camping trip. Well, there is no record of him saying that on film or tape, so methinks it's just a vicious rumor.

I hope.

Waxing Poetic

Pssst! He's not real!

I'm sorry, there is just something extremely creepy about making wax replicas of people. I'm sure that based on the popularity of Madame Tussaud's museums all over the world I can safely assume that I am not in the majority with this opinion.

Nevertheless, Michelle Obama's replica joined Barack's in the Washington museum and the visitors seem to have really warmed up to them. Hopefully, not too much or they'll melt.

No Contest

This just doesn't seem right

I have been remiss in my television pseudo-entertainment reporting duties, and for that I apologize.

Take Dancing with the Stars. Please. Since I first reported on this season's contestants, about half of them were injured and had to drop out. Since then, another half have been eliminated. Last night David Alan Grier was booted off.

Fan favorites are Shawn Johnson, teen-aged gymnast who has her very own stalker, and Melissa who was shafted by "The Bachelor."

I have foresaken American Idol. Yup, didn't watch last night and probably won't watch ever again if I can maintain my sanity. Simple reason ~ it sucks. Enough said.

Gag Order

Doomed

A total of 14 companies are being penalized over $1 million for failing to report safety hazards promptly.

According to the NY Times:

The companies were penalized for failing to promptly report sales of children's clothing with drawstrings through the hood or neck, the Consumer Product Safety Commission said.
These drawstrings can get caught in nearby objects and cause children to get trapped or strangled.

Personally I had no idea that in May of 2006 the CPSC determined that children's garments with hood and neck drawstrings would be considered defective.

Now no one wants to keep kids safe more than I do, but somehow I have a hard time thinking of drawstrings as defective because children could be strangled with them. Are we going a little bit off the deep end with all this? If the drawstrings aren't 6 feet long is there really a problem? Theoretically making little boys wear ties is the same thing, right?

I long for the days when the only clothing problem little girls had was wearing patent leather shoes so the boys could look up your dress.

To Posto or Not to Posto

Was Jimmy Fallon really treated unfairly at Posto in NY or is he really just a little no-talent little shit?

And why do we care?

Mainly because we understand that Carol is a fabulous waitress and the pizza is terrific at Posto. We have seen more people behave badly in public places because they are 'celebrities' than we care to count, and we suspect Jimmy is another one of those schlubs.

Word to the Wise: If you're going to Twitter, take your head out of your ass first and think.

When is a Man's Home Not His Castle?

Being an overpaid, untalented movie actor isn't what it used to be. Ask Nicolas Cage, he'll tell you.

He's being forced to sell the castle he bought in 2006 in Bavaria because of the economy. Reportedly he hasn't even been to the place in nearly a year.

Before you start weeping, be advised he still has his castle in England which he's owned since July of 2007, but yeah the economy is bad.

Jiverly Talkin'

You know the drill ~ angry middle aged guy = crazy killer

The New York Daily News seems to have the most current information about the latest in a long line of crazy men who get hold of weapons and kill a whole bunch of people at once.

Binghamton, NY's madman, Jiverly Voong (which could be an alias but who the hell cares) was your typical loony tune before shooting and killing a dozen people yesterday.

First of all let's get this clear, despite the fact that he's wearing a New York Yankees shirt in this picture, he was not a Yankees fan. Someone asked him if he liked the Yankees and "he said, 'No, I don't like that team. I don't like America. America sucks.'"

Well America is where he got his guns so at least he liked that part.

He came from Vietnam originally and was purported to be a 'good neighbor,' but his wife and kids left him at some point.

And then the rest (which you probably guessed):

Quiet type. "He was a very nice guy, but he seemed very, very depressed."

Gun nut. "He went to target practice on Saturday. He said he had two guns, one in his glove compartment. He was always talking about his guns."

No surprises there.

Wasilla Hillbillies ~ New Episode!

Love the bracelet! But yellow's not your color.

Diana Palin, half sister of Todd, husband of the Governor of Alaska, Sarah, has been arrested and charged with two felony counts of burglary in addition to misdemeanor counts of criminal trespass and theft.

Diana has been linked to two break-ins at the same house in Wasilla.

Granted I don't have vast experience in the criminal underworld, but I'm wondering why someone would burgle the same house twice in one week.

Considering that Alaska doesn't have all that many people, isn't it odd that people associated with the Governor keep getting arrested? I mean, wasn't Levi Johnston's mother busted for selling drugs not that long ago? Is Wasilla the crime capital of the state?

I know, I know. Too many questions.

Beach Blanket Bozo

Technically this fashion item is not a dress. It's actually a bathing suit manufactured by a company called "It Figures."

The creator of this beachwear would like you to believe that if you wear this item to the shore no one will think that you're fat. There must be some other reason why you would be wearing a pup tent to frolic in the waves.

Don't be fooled, ladies. No one will think you're any thinner if you're wearing this creation than if you went to the beach wearing a thong and coconut shells.

From the Land of the Rising Fun

A Japanese company named Gamu Toys has released a Barack Obama Action Figure. Yes, that's him pictured above wearing a suit from the Rodney Dangerfield Collection.

The accessories include a huge American flag, neckties in red and blue, and different hands. Yup, you read that right, but none of them are flipping the bird.

Please to enjoy.

Jockey Shorts

Excellent way to kill yourself and a horse

I was known to enjoy a good horse race in my day, but when they started shooting thoroughbreds on the racetrack like a carnival game I opted out.

Not to mention that riding a horse can be dangerous too, although a misstep doesn't necessarily mean you'll be shot. They didn't shoot Christopher Reeve, now did they?

This picture was taken yesterday at Fox Hunters' Chase which I believe is in Britain. There's no word on whether jockey, G Gallagher, and horse, De Luain Gorm, are okay, but then again, there's no word that they aren't all right.

It seems to me that horses don't really like to jump over those hedges that crop up on racetracks from time to time, yet that seems to be part of the fun, like pulling wings off flies.

Repeat After Me: There is Nothing Wrong with the Economy

There's something basically wrong with a gown

that makes Kate Moss look fat

So this very rich British dude, Sir Philip Green, comes to the US and opens a store in Soho. That's him pictured above with Kate Moss. Kate, it might be time to get back on that diet of Fresca and cocaine.

And guess what? The people who want to be hip go absolutely nuts! It's like the audition for "America's Next Top Model" all over again except all they want to do is spend their money!

They can't buy the frocks fast enough. As one shopper said as she was leaving, she just doesn't bother to look at the price if it's hot. And she doesn't mean the weather. She meant that t-shirt she bought with sequins on the sleeves.

Gift Exchange at the Palace

The Obamas took some time out of their busy day to stop by and visit Queen Elizabeth II. Personally, I had no idea she was so short.

They gave her an iPod with video on it of her 2007 visit to the colonies. She gave them what she gives all visiting dignitaries ~ a framed picture of herself.

And there she is with that handbag again! What in the hell is she doing wandering around Buckingham Palace with that friggin' purse on her arm?

I think she's channeling Sophia Petrillo.