You Can Google That

You may have heard that yesterday was the incredibly unimportant Iowa caucus for Republican presidential hopefuls.

As easily predicted, Michele Bachmann and Rick Perry finished last. Michele immediately threw in the tasteful fingertip towel her husband had selected and Rick went back to Texas to ask Jesus what the hell he should do.

Mitt Romney, the only vaguely electable candidate, finished first but only eight votes (yes, that's right -- eight!) ahead of Rick Santorum. Santorum, who really doesn't like gays (nor they him) came from behind. You can google that.

Now Senator John McCain (you may remember him from the 2008 election) threw his support to Romney who is pictured above wearing blue jeans so that you might be inclined to think this multimillionaire is one of the common folk.

Ron Paul who claims he did not write those vicious newsletters that people in the Way Back Machine have uncovered, came in third.

And now on to New Hampshire!

A Rock by any Other Name

Hailing from the New York Metropolitan area, we profess we are sometimes ignorant as to how things are done in other parts of the United States of America.

It appears that in Texas people have hunting clubs where they presumably go to hunt and hopefully not shoot each other. Further, these hunting clubs have names. One might think they'd be called things like "West Texas Hunting Club" or "Dallas Hunting Club," but no, they have names like"Niggerhead."

At least that was the name of the Perry family's hunting club and some locals still call it that, despite the fact that some time after Rick entered the public political arena his daddy tried to paint over the rock that bore the name "Niggerhead." He did a less than spectacular job since you can still see it under the white paint.

GOP Republican Presidential candidate hopeful, Herman Cain, who is also the only black GOP contender, called Rick Perry out on this. Even in the 1980s when the rock was painted to cover up the "N" inscription, it was a good fifteen years beyond the heart of the civil rights movement. Surely before 1981 a politician would have had the sense to have the rock pummelled into tiny pieces of gravel lest it come back to hit him over the head when he wanted to be President of the United States thirty years later.

Please Leave the Building

You may have heard that Michele Bachmann won the Ames, Iowa straw poll, whatever the hell that means. It could just mean that more people wanted to meet a country western singer at her tent.

Yesterday she continued to make fool of herself by wishing Elvis Presley a happy birthday. First of all, someone needs to tell her that he's dead and that August 16th is the anniversary of his death, not birth. He has left the building, Michele, and perhaps you should follow.

In other news, as predicted, Rick Perry threw his ten gallon hat into the presidential ring after the straw poll. Ron Paul came in second and yet no one even mentions that. Surely, he can't be any more of an embarrassment to the GOP than these two.

Walker, Texas Ranger

Texas Governor Rick Perry (seen here talking to Walker, Texas Ranger) is sending a band of Rangers to guard the border with Mexico.

Actually, it's kind of hard to tell what kind of Rangers he might be sending.

According to HuffPo, The forces, dubbed "Ranger recon" teams, are the latest effort "to fill the gap that's been left by the federal government's ongoing failure to adequately secure our international border with Mexico," he said.

Could these be the guys?

Or these?