Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Keeping the Fear in Christmas

This little Christmas tradition initially sneaked by me. It's called Elf on a Shelf although this one seems to be dangling from a light fixture.

It seems a psychotic mother/daughter duo wrote a book called Elf on a Shelf or the Shelf or some Shelf and self published it. You can buy this blood curdling thriller and a little statue of the elf to move around so your idiot children think the elf is actually hopping from shelf to shelf.

As if 9/11 didn't make your kids paranoid enough, now they have to worry about this little creature watching them from the corners of your home at all hours of the day and night. It sees you when you're peeing and eating your boogers. Then the petite spy hustles back to the North Pole to give Santa an update on how naughty or nice the kids have been that day.

What crazy bullshit is this?

It was bad enough when we just had to worry about the old dude watching us. Now we've got a fleet of elfin jihadists lurking on our shelves.

I've heard the installation of these elves keeps the lid on the misbehaving pre-pubescents. We just think it's perverse. Let's eighty-six this alleged tradition.

1 comment:

Que said...

Hi Moons
Hope you are well.
... Talking about Christmas/Xmas, thought you might like this post for a little pre-Xmas laugh... http://the-internet-surfer.blogspot.com/2011/12/kids-were-not-good-this-year.html
... Complements of the season,
Peter (aka Que).