On the Ropes

The amazingly corpulent governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie, has had a busy week.

In no particular order he has 1) proudly announced that Wrestlemania will be coming to New Jersey in 2013, 2) ordered the flags in the state to be lowered to half staff on Saturday when Whitney Houston's funeral will take place, and 3) vowed to veto the bill that was passed by the state legislature allowing gay couples to marry in the Garden State.

He wants the gay marriage question to be put to the voters and he may be hoping for a slot on the Wrestlemania bill.

Devil's in the Details

The Republican presidential hopefuls had themselves another debate last night. Governor Mitt Romney is all proud of himself because Governor Christie endorsed him and there's talk of a Governor Sandwiches selection as the VP nominee if Romney gets the GOP nod.

Meanwhile there's still Herman Cain who missed his chance to be the first black President. He's never been elected to anything. Instead he was the big cheese at Godfather's pizza. He knows absolutely nothing about anything outside of the US of A and if you're looking for someone who does, you best find yourself another nominee.

And of course, there's always Michele Bachmann who suggests that if you turn Cain's 9-9-9 economic plan upside down (6-6-6) you'll see the Devil in the details.

If you look at Cain's surgical scar from his colon cancer surgery (he was stage 4) you'll notice it looks like the letter 'J,' which means that Jesus is watching over him.

Ah, yes. The Christian card. Will Romney's Mormonism be a problem? Stay tuned.

Take My Breath Away

Yesterday New Jersey's Governor Chris Christie was admitted to Somerset Medical Center for the day after complaining he was having trouble breathing.

Now whereas we disagree with almost everything he does or doesn't do, we certainly don't wish the GOP darling any ill health.

Turns out our Governor Sandwiches has been an asthmatic since he was a teenager and he knows that the fatter he is, the worse the asthma will be. Yet he continues to tip the scales at an unhealthy weight.

Good thing he has comprehensive medical insurance -- something he's doing his best to make sure the poor of his state don't have.

Calling a Prick a Prick

This is New Jersey State Senator Stephen Sweeney and he is really pissed at Governor Christie a/k/a Governor Sandwiches.

In fact he has actually said, "He's just a rotten bastard to do what he did ... He's a rotten prick."

What was it that the Governor did? He cut millions for AIDS funding and mental health services and then poured $150 million into schools in the suburbs including those in the wealthiest school districts.

"This is all about him being a bully and a punk. I wanted to punch him in the head," Sweeney said.

Let us hold your jacket for you, Senator.

Fat Head

People make jokes about New Jersey but for the most part it's a nice place to live.

The current governor of the state, Chris Christie, was elected based on his bravado a/k/a bullying tactics and the belief of some voters that he wasn't going to take any shit from anyone.

It's not nice to criticize him just because he's morbidly obese. It's not his fault that someone has been shoveling sugar and fat down his throat for the last forty years.

However, it's all right to take issue with what he does and what he doesn't do. The state has a severe budget crisis and instead of trimming the fat with a scalpel, Christie has used a machete.

Of course no one wants their taxes thrown down the crapper, but educating children or providing health care for the disadvantaged should not fall into the category of 'waste.'

When Governor Sandwiches takes a state helicopter to his son's baseball game, that does come under the heading of superfluous spending. And when a limo has to drive him the 100 yards from the copter to the game, that is also waste. At a cost of $12.5 million, does he want to make sure that the AugustaWestland helicopter is earning its keep?

Of course he was in a hurry to get back to the Governor's mansion to meet with members of the Iowa caucus to discuss how he's going to enter the presidential campaign on the Republican ticket and how much money they're going to give him.

Bully for You, Governor Sandwiches!

Governor Chris Christie of New Jersey, lovingly known as "Governor Sandwiches," was criticized for abandoning his state to travel to Disney World during the last snowpocalypse of 2010.

Well, he'll have you know that not only isn't he sorry he left New Jersey at the same time a state of emergency was declared, but he had a fabulous time.

Hey, he promised his kids he was going to take them at the end of his first year in office, and that's what he did.

That's okay, Governor. We're glad your four little brats are more important to you than the millions of residents of New Jersey you were elected to serve.

Seriously, this guy is being considered as a 2012 presidential candidate.

Fat Man in a Little Coat

This repulsive creature is the Governor of New Jersey, Chris Christie. He's repulsive because he's a stupid bully who can't or won't take responsibility for his own shortcomings.

A clerical error on an application to the Federal government cost the schools of New Jersey $400 million, and Christie has decreed that it's the fault of President Obama.

He claims a 'quick phone call' could have corrected the error.

Say what?

Federal employees are supposed to double check the figures submitted by applicants? Even if they know that The Garden State has idiots working for it, they should waste their time? What kind of insane bureaucracy would we have if that was the case?