Captive Audience

You may have heard that in Chile 33 miners have been trapped below ground since August 5th. I think we can all agree that sucks.

Well, an end to their misery is on the horizon. The first miner is scheduled to be shuttled out next Tuesday which is a hell of a lot better than the inital rescue date of Christmas.

Engineers tested the Phoenix capsule and were really tickled that it worked. Of course, they couldn't send it all the way down since they were concerned one of those crazy miners might try to jump in it.

They've already figured out the order in which the miners will be evacuated.

First out will be the fittest and sanest. Then come the sickest. Last out will be Luis Urzua who probably caused this mess to begin with.

The men are over 2,000 feet below ground and the ride to the surface will take twenty minutes for each so it should take at least eleven hours to get them all out.

Hopefully they haven't gone totally batshit in their underground prison and we wish them godspeed.