The Blind Side

Holy Mother of God ~ What the hell is this?

Remember last week when Sandra Bullock won the Best Actress Oscar and she and her husband seemed so happy, so freaking idyllic.

Well, let me tell you it's been revealed that Jesse James, Mr. Sandra Bullock, cheated on his bride with the person pictured above.

Yes! That's a person. Her name is Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, and for some reason which I do not even pretend to comprehend, she is the 'other woman.'

Now I admit that I don't know what Mr. Bullock does for a living. Isn't he in love with motorcycles or something? Okay, that may or may not mean he has a teeny weeny penis to begin with. But if I had a teeny weeny penis I would never in a million years insert it into this Bombshell.

Come on, Jesse! Were you momentarily struck blind or something? Did you make her wear a bag on her head? I mean when you look up 'grotesque' in the dictionary, this is the picture that comes with the definition.

It isn't even the plastic boobs and all the tattoos. Look at her eyebrows! They're painted on! What happened to her real ones? Were they burned off in a meth accident?

She looks like a creature in Avatar Meets Zombieland.

I hope Sandra kicks your sorry little ass to the curb, Mister. And for God's sake, get tested for every STD you can think of.