Real Housewives of Abbottobad

Oh, how we all got a good laugh over the footage of Osama bin Laden watching Osama bin Laden on the boob tube! The Islamic couch potato seemed to spend hours viewing his old "All Infidels Must Die" videos.

Well, as we suspected, that wasn't all he was watching. Evidently the uber-terrorist had quite the cache of porn.

This could just be a vicious rumor to discredit the knit cap wearing dude to his followers, but we think not.

Everyone knows that, no matter how many brides you have in your stable and how many virgins are waiting for you in the afterlife, there are times when you just have to do it yourself.

NEWSFLASH: bin Laden Still Dead

If you'd already decided you weren't going to believe that Osama Bin Laden was actually dead until you saw his bleeding eye socket with your own eyes, maybe this will help allay your disappointment.

Al Qaeda has admitted that Fearless Leader is dead. Oh, and they're really pissed about it.

And as if you didn't think he deserved to be shot dead by NAVY Seals, listen to this.

One of his wives, evidently the youngest one, says she wasn't allowed out of the compound for five years except to maybe traipse around the (wild) marijuana plants growing in the yard. (NTS: Suggest Jose take a look at the property.) Basically she was a prisoner! And for this she took a bullet for the old geezer!

Hey, I've got a great idea for the next season of Weeds.

An Eternity Without Virgins is Like a Day Without Sunshine

In case you've been living in a cave in remotest Afghanistan, you may have missed the news that the Emperor of All Terrorists, Osama bin Laden, has been killed and his corpse tossed into the sea.

Dude was hiding in a mansion in Pakistan which may have been why he was so hard to find. Who would have thought to look there?

Seriously though, congrats and snaps to all who were involved in his demise. Here's hoping he doesn't get his forty virgins.