It's been a while since we traveled south to Florida and it's time to catch up on the usual stuff.
Take the woman pictured above. Please. Please take her back to Pennsylvania where she belongs or maybe straight to jail.
Seems this young lady by the name of Brenda Heist dropped her kids off at school one day eleven years ago in Pennsylvania and then disappeared without a trace.
Well, apparently she adopted an alias and has been living the high life in Florida. You know, the usual -- sleeping under bridges, getting arrested, etc. Brenda finally turned herself in because she got tired of running. Actually it looks as though she might have gotten tired of using meth, but that's just our opinion.
Then there was the woman (probably drunk) who dropped her keys down a sewer. A nice man named Richard Brandenburg (also probably drunk) stumbled along and offered to retrieve the keys. First he drank half a pint of rum, smoked a cigarette and then jumped into the sewer and drowned. Not to worry, he was resuscitated and is now in critical condition in a Miami hospital.
Last, but certainly not least is Jarvis Sutton, a St. Petersburg man who was accused of abusing the 911 system, the police being obviously narrow minded. Seems Jarvis called 911 eighty times over the weekend to order food and drugs. He wanted Kool-Aid, burgers and weed. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you, Florida, for never disappointing.
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