Crap Fest

Burned turds

A man named Rasheen Harrison got very angry at his pregnant ex-girlfriend the other day so he smeared her apartment door with his excrement and set it on fire.

Of course, he did. Wouldn't anybody?

The police took him into custody and while in a holding cell at the 120th Precinct station on Staten Island he relieved himself once again and decorated the walls with it.

He was then taken to Bellevue Hospital for psychiatric observation and charged with beaucoup offenses including arson, criminal mischief, endangering the welfare of a child, etc., etc.

What caused Mr. Harrison (whose street name is Illuminati) to dump and burn?

Apparently, the former girlfriend stole his cell phone.

First of all, I had no idea feces were flammable. Is this true even if you haven't just digested beans and rice?

Secondly, I am incredibly impressed by Mr. Harrison's ability to crap on demand. I wonder if he has any other hidden talents.