Wrong Again

Here's the deal.

If every year you spew predictions about what's going to happen in the following year, allegedly having gotten the inside scoop from THE LORD, and invariably you are shown to have been spewing crap that would make the National Enquirer blush, you really ought to be taken back up the mountain where THE LORD allegedly spoke to you, and left there to be hors d'oeuvres for the wolves.

So why hasn't that happened to the craptastic con man Pat Robertson?

Some of his predictions for 2009:

Gold would hit $1900. an ounce.

Oil would hit $300 a barrel.

Russia would lead the world in bringing up dangerous dictators.

We would experience hyperinflation.

Many Muslims would convert to Christianity.

The U.S. will accept socialism, whatever the hell that means, except it was a tactic to frighten people about the impending inauguration of Barack Obama.

And of course he always issued his safety clause with each ridiculous statement: "If I'm understanding THE LORD correctly."

Well, Pat, obviously you're not understanding THE LORD correctly. The voice in your head is just that of the egomaniac who lives within.