Crown of Thorns

Rumor has it that the crown of the Statue of Liberty may soon be reopened to tourists. Let's rethink this, guys, before millions and millions of dollars are blown.

I climbed to the crown in 1961 when I was a kid on a rickety staircase that wound its way up the interior of the statue. It wasn't a hot day, but inside the statue it must have been 100 degrees. The line of tourists snaked up the stairs till we got to the windows. I cannot imagine what would have happened if anyone had freaked out, had a gun, or if any other emergency had arisen. Oh yes I can. Everyone would have been dead.

We were almost there! We couldn't wait! How exciting!

Except the windows in the crown were small (even to this child) and filthy. You could barely see daylight out of them, let alone anything in the harbor.

We trudged down the steps disappointed about the effort we'd made with no payoff. At least I knew I would never be stupid enough to do it again.

Obviously the Secretary of the Interior never wasted his time climbing to the crown. If he wastes our taxpayer dollars reopening this, I say we make him run up and down the steps a million times.