Ted Haggard Still Wants Your Money

"Go ahead! Pull my finger!"

I was delighted to see that my favorite disgraced evangelical of all times, Ted Haggard, is back in the news.

Apparently earlier this month Haggard was a 'guest speaker' at the Open Bible Fellowship in Morrison, Illinois. He referred to his two sermon extravaganza as "Alive!" You may recall that was also the name of the book that detailed how air crash survivors cannibalized each other in the Andes.

Haggard attributes his problems as stemming from a molestation when he was 7.

According to HuffPo:

In the sermons, Haggard said a co-worker of his father molested him when he was 7, an experience that "started to produce fruit" when he turned 50.

Yeah, sure, Ted, although I do appreciate your use of the word 'fruit.'

Although Haggard is now selling insurance, it is apparent he is looking to weasel his way to a full time gig in the pulpit.