This is a public service message.
If someone holds a gun to your head and says, "Watch Martian Child," take the bullet.
In what is possibly the most contrived piece of crap on cinema in the last year, "Martian Child" would like you to accept the premise (albeit it's based on a true story) that a widower will bond with a child who chooses to live in a box, being that the kid is from Mars and all, and vice versa.
What happened to the John Cusack we know and love? What happened to "High Fidelity" and "Say Anything?" Now we have John Cusack appearing in this travesty, "Must Love Dogs," and other barf producers.
The child chosen to portray "Dennis, the visitor from another planet," is downright creepy. At first I thought he was some distant relative of the Culkins. He wears sunblock for most of the picture which gives him a pantomime shine.
And the voice! He sounds like Strawberry Shortcake. Remember her? She was always "berry, berry happy!"
Plot spoiler ... the old dog dies and Dennis does not return to Mars even though he's on the roof of the planetarium. Everyone lives happily ever after. You know, just like in real life.
There. I just saved you an hour and a half. You owe me.
2 comments:
He does those movies (He doesn't even like them.) to make the money to produce his own. That's just the way it works.
Aren't the Culkins from Mars?
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