Saturday, January 29, 2005

Freezing

The temperature is inching upwards. Sometime soon it may actually break the freezing mark. If I wanted to be this cold I'd move to Minnesota. This is the Garden State, not the Iceberg Lettuce State.

There's nothing about winter that makes me feel good. It's too dark, too cold.

I don't understand winter sports. Who wants to be cold and wet? I know there are lots of devoted skiiers out there, but I'm sorry, I just don't get it. Not to even mention the expense of it. So you ride up a lift with some metal up your ass and jump off and slide down a mountain (hopefully upright) on long pieces of plastic or fiberglass or something till you get to the bottom. Maybe you work up a sweat doing this in which case now you're cold and sweaty. Sounds delightful.

And if your last name is Bono or Kennedy there is a good chance a tree might jump out in front of you while you're on your way back to the lodge at the foot of the mountain and kill you. Who wants Cher giving your eulogy? Worse than death.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i agree. cold is not good, a veritable abomination. i always wondered why the original settlers of earth ventured forth to the cold regions. were they stupid? or were they thinking:

"gee we killed this bear and ate everything edible what do we do now with the fur and bones and sinews"

"well we could make a fur coat"

"but it's like 90 degrees in the shade"

"well we could go where it's real cold and freeze our asses off but then we'll put on the fur coats and feel like we accomplished something"

"okay, let's go"

"wait"

"what"

"what do we do with the bones and sinews"

"how 'bout we make bows and arrows and kill anyone who asks us why in hell we're going to the cold places where we'll obviously freeze our asses off"

"okay"