You may have heard we had a wee storm here last week named Sandy. Ah, that Sandy was a bitch or a son of a bitch. We don't know what gender she/he was. But we digress.
There are many stories about the devastation, the wind, the flooding, the deaths, the lack of food, water, electricity and gasoline. Horrible stories, all of them.
What we find amazing is how people say, "Thank God!" when an electric crew from Kentucky shows up or they are reunited with a loved one.
Listen, kids, if you believe in God then you must know that it was God who sent the hurricane and when the power comes back on it's because of the electric crews who worked tirelessly, not because God waved his finger.
Not that this has anything to do with the hurricane, but a man named David Jiminez who lives in upstate New York believes that a 600 lb. crucifix cured his wife of cancer. Now don't ask us how that would work exactly. Maybe radiation comes out of Jesus's eyes or something.
Anyway, apparently the intensely devout Jiminez thought the crucifix looked a tad dusty so he took the old feather duster to it. The crucifix was hung up by a single screw it seems and it fell right on top of the relentlessly neat David.
Mr. Jiminez had to have his leg amputated and now he is suing the church for $3 million because he isn't able to return to his job at a pizza parlor.
It seems that the injured Jiminez says the church told him to go ahead and dust the crucifix so they're liable.
So not only did the crucifix restore Mrs. Jiminez to health but it also is going to bring the Jiminez's to millionaire status? That would be some miracle.
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