This here's Eddie Campbell of Malden, West Virginia. He's 61 and he got hisself arrested yesterday.
Now I've never been to Malden, West Virginia but I imagine most good folks of that jurisdiction were having themselves a blessed Sunday morning in their neighborhood churches.
Not Eddie.
No, Eddie was arrested for masturbating on a park bench. He was not alone. With him was an armless mannequin.
I'd like to know if the mannequin was allegedly female or male, and I ask this because we know mannequins are usually not anatomically correct. I'd like to know what the turn on was for Mr. Campbell. Was it the armlessness? Was it the soft smooth skin of a plastic dummy? Was he just enjoying a lovely summer's day with a close friend and things got out of hand?
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