got milk?

EEEEEEEOOOWWWW!

Did you know that here in New Jersey there is no law that directly prohibits a dude from putting his penis in a cow's mouth?

Yup, that's true. Here in the Garden State you can do that and it's not illegal, but you can be charged with animal cruelty.

Robert Melia (left) was charged with animal cruelty for sticking his dick in the mouths of five calves in 2006 and was suspended from the Moorestown Police Department. Yes, he is a cop.

No, that's not the mother of those calves on the right. That's his girlfriend, Heather Lewis.

"If the cow had the cognitive ability to form thought and speak, would it say, 'Where's the milk? I'm not getting any milk,'" Judge James Morley reportedly said.

How can you argue with that?

The judge dismissed the charges because in his opinion although having calves suck on your wanker may be disgusting, it is not cruel.

The lovely couple are still awaiting trial on charges that they sexually assaulted three girls over a five year period for which they were arrested in April 2008. That would be human girls. Fortunately there are laws against that.