Listen, stupid Americans! The swine flu is coming! At least 40% of you will get it! Unless a vaccine is developed and you're all inoculated, hundreds of thousands of you will die!
In case life itself isn't frightening enough for you, the media keeps insisting that the swine flu is Armageddon. The WHO says 2 billion earthlings will get it before this whole mess is over!
The CDC insists over a million Americans have already been infected, although fewer than 44,000 tested positive and 302 people have died.
You better pray to your god that they come up with a vaccine and soon!
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