The World in a Mirror

The whole world's gone nuts.

I tried to avoid the television coverage of the insanity that was the Michael Jackson funeral. I switched on ESPN to get sports news and what do I see? Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson waxing poetic about Michael Jackson! WTF does Michael Jackson have to do with sports and why were Kobe and Magic acting like assholes in a way that did not involve a prostitute?

At least I was safe watching the Yankee game. Derek Jeter did not start moonwalking, I'm happy to report.

Paris, the little girl Jackson got to screw up

Look, people, Michael Jackson was an entertainer from Gary, Indiana. He did not spring from the loins of Mohammed. He and his brothers were sent out to work so his lazy ass parents didn't have to be gainfully employed.

Somewhere along the line he started to amend his body so that he looked more and more like a white woman. It was not a miracle. It was unethical medical intervention.

Through the use of money, payola, bribes, he got custody of three white kids who were in no way, shape or form actually related to him. Three kids who are missing the most important ingredient in successful child rearing ~ a mother.

He got himself deeply in debt by indulging in all his whims; the construction of the most bizarre amusement park on the planet, Neverland, and having children come and sleep in his bed with him. No, he was never convicted of child molestation, but it cost him a lot of money to pay people off and hire lawyers to protect his sorry ass.

And now people want to put him on a stamp to honor his memory? Why, because he liked to be licked?

Michael Jackson wasn't interested in anyone but himself. Okay, maybe he cared about the kids he dressed in burkas and dangled over hotel balcony railings, but you don't name kids you love Prince Michael I and Prince Michael II and nickname the latter 'Blanket.' This isn't Father Knows Best material.

Is he buried yet? I couldn't bear to watch. At least let's just bury this whole mess, shall we?