Goin' to the Chapel ... Across the Country

Okay, here's another candidate for Mother of the Month.

Her name is Sarah Haines and she lives in Mount Olive, New Jersey. She got married in Washington recently and left her 12 year-old daughter home alone with their three dogs for days. I can't find out exactly for how long, but does it really matter?

The state has taken her daughter away from her. Apparently Sarah Haines's father, Peter, has been estranged from his 31 year-old idiot child and didn't know what she was up to.

In any event, Sarah left the kid with ten bucks with which to fend for herself and the dogs.

Well, it's going to take more than $10 to bail the new bride out of jail. $99,990 to be exact.

I can't help but wonder -- who did she marry and why did she have to go across the country to do it? Let me guess ... an internet romance.

Holy Terror

Once upon a time in a land called "New Jersey" there ruled a governor who was married to a woman who didn't have a clue that he was gay even though almost everyone else in the land did.

The Governor, whose name was Jim, resigned as ruler and embarked on a messy divorce.

As time went on Jim decided he wanted to be a priest. He once was a Catholic but now he became an Episcopalian because Episcopalians let gay people become priests, not to mention women!

He went to seminary and started to minister to a congregation in Hoboken, New Jersey which is where Frank Sinatra is from. But I digress. The folks at All Souls Church seem to be very happy to have him there.

The Catholic Church is making it easier for Anglican priests, who think that the current mood of the Episcopalian/Anglican crowd is just too doggoned liberal, to join up with the Vatican.

Would they ever welcome Father Jim with open arms? It could be very interesting if the former governor made an application. For sure they wouldn't let him in, but it could be amusing to watch.

Bummer, Dude!

This is typical of the crime you find in Hunterdon County, NJ.

Last Saturday a 34-year-old man was arrested at a church carnival for being drunk and disorderly. He pretended to be with the band.

Problem was, not only wasn't he with the band, but he'd drunk all their beer.

Dude was charged with disorderly conduct and then driven home.

That was his second arrest in two days. The previous day he'd been arrested for asking people for a ride at a local shopping center (he was totally shitfaced) and was charged with disorderly conduct and driven home.

Stop me if you've heard this before. Stop me if you've heard this before.