Fangs a Lot

I understand I might be the only one who feels this way since I'm over the age of 12, but I find Robert Pattinson extremely unattractive. Oh wait, he agrees with me at least.

He's on the tour circuit drumming up business for his next horrible Twilight installment "New Moon" and of course that involves him talking. While he's talking he's revealing intimate secrets.

For instance, he has terrible personal hygiene. Gee, I would never have guessed since he looks as if he hasn't seen the inside of a shower stall in about 6 months. Somebody buy this boy a razor and some soap and while you're at it, run a lawn mower over his eyebrows.

He also reveals that he can't get a date and used to be romantic but isn't any more. Oh, I bet there are many tweens who would like to help out on those scores, Bob.

And now this morning the London hotel where he and his co-star were staying had a fire alarm and they had to evacuate! Just another excuse not to bathe.

Sucker

Okay, for some reason we don't truly understand a hairdresser from St. Louis was dumpster diving, found two movie scripts in the trash, and one of them was for the new Twilight movie "New Moon."

Instead of doing the all-American thing and selling them to a tabloid for as much money as she could suck out of them, she returned them to Summit Entertainment.

Sparing no expense and showing their gratitude, Summit will take her to the movie premieres!

Although everyone expressed amazement that the scripts were in the garbage (not I!) it seems obvious how they got there. You see, the scripts were in hotel trash and Anna Kendrick, an actress who appears in "New Moon" was staying in the hotel! A complete no-brainer.