UnSealed

Please believe us when we say we really don't give a shit about celebrity couples. So why are we blogging about the Heidi Klum/Seal break up?

Is it because they are the most ridiculous couple ever? That's such an elusive title in Hollywood where bizarre pairings abound.

It's come to our attention that a lot of people really can't stand Heidi. Meow. Maybe they're just jealous that she's so gorgeous and rich?

The question we have is not "Why did they break up?" but rather "Why were they together?"

To the best of our knowledge no one has ever explained what is wrong with Seal's face. Make no mistake, there is something very wrong with it. He looks as if he got his face caught in between those metal claws inside those amusement park games where you try to grab a stuffed animal.

Was he born like that? Or did he in fact stick his head inside a boardwalk game at some point?

And yeah, we feel sorry for the kids too.