Barbour Loses Mind as Final Act as Governor

Red neck favorite, Governor Haley Barbour of Mississippi, had to retire because he was limited to serving two terms as the state's governor. Lest he be forgotten quickly, he pardoned over 200 inmates before he left office.

Whereas it's not unusual for outgoing governors to pardon some incarcerated criminals, no one had ever pardoned such a huge number of jailbirds including many convicted of murder.

Thankfully the state's attorney general, Jim Hood, put the brakes on most of the releases.

At first Barbour would not say why he had pardoned so many, but yesterday he did a bit of fancy jawing to explain the inexplicable. Some were released because of medical conditions.

He continued, "The pardons were intended to allow them to find gainful employment or acquire professional licenses as well as hunt and vote. My decision about clemency was based upon the recommendation of the Parole Board in more than 90 percent of the cases."

Unfortunately most of the released convicts are likely to hunt people.

Inmates must publish legal notices in a newspaper for thirty days before they can be pardoned. Additionally, victims must be notified 48 hours before the release of an inmate which should give them enough time to get the hell out of town. Apparently this wasn't done in most cases.

So far only five inmates have actually been released and they worked as trustees in the Governor's Mansion. Four of them were convicted murderers and one was a burglar.

Some are afraid this will make Mississippi look 'backwards.' Yes, it will, but no more than the fact that the state is the fattest in the nation and has the highest rate of teen pregnancy.