A Rose By Any Other Name

The Social Security Administration has released their list of the top ten names for boys and girls in 2008. Emily is no longer #1 for girls. It's Emma now. Jacob is the most popular boy's name for the tenth year in a row. This may top your list of things you really don't give a shit about, but the SSA has also released other information regarding the naming of our children that I find particularly alarming.

American parents, presumably those with brain damage, have made the misspelled Khloe with a K (after one of the Kardashian sluts) one of the fastest rising names. Khloe increased 469 spots to number 196 in 2008, up from 665 in 2007 and 960 in 2006 (her first year on the list).

Also, Chloe with a C is in the Top 10 for the first time ever. This relieves me. I like Chloe Sevigny.

Okay fasten your barf bags. Another fast riser is Miley, moving up 152 spots to number 127 for 2008, a rather impressive increase given this is only her second year on the list. On the downside for fans of Miley Cyrus’ fictional character, the name Hannah fell out of the Top 10 and landed down at number 17.

Other info: Jacoby had the biggest increase for the boys, moving up 200 spots to number 423. Commissioner Michael Astrue, a die-hard Red Sox fan, attributed the rise of Jacoby to the appeal of last year’s star rookie centerfielder, Jacoby Ellsbury.