Slaughter on Seventh Avenue

Polygamists under arrest for murdering fashion

The raid of a polygamists' compound by Texas authorities was prompted by the belief that young girls were being forced to marry older men. Over four hundred children have been taken into custody and are having their DNA checked in an attempt to discover who their parents are.

Well you can be sure their dads aren't Ralph Lauren or Calvin Klein.

Authorities have revealed that they are less dismayed about the possible rape of young girls by older 'husbands' than they are with the polygamists' fashion statement.

"Rape of young girls! What about the rape of fashion?" said a Texas sheriff who did not wish to be identified.

It is believed that the women will be forced to watch runway fashion shows in Los Angeles, New York and Milan.

"They were brainwashed once, they can be brainwashed again, darling," said Diane Von Furstenberg who is supplying wrap dresses to all of the women from the compound.

John Barrett and Garren will be supplying the women with new hairstyles although they seemed visibly shaken when faced with the prospect. Christophe had to be resuscitated with smelling salts.