Things to Worry About

Seemingly there's no end to the things that we humans living in 2005 have to worry about. Is it any wonder so many of us suffer from insomnia?

For those of you who sleep soundly, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? Get some sense and take a gander at this list of just a few of the things that should concern you.

bird flu

earthquakes

floods

hurricanes

tsunamis

volcanic eruptions

rape

murder

SIDS

tainted water

no water

too much water

too much tainted water

global warming

an impending Ice Age

being buried alive

car accidents

robberies

bankruptcy

electrocution

pedophiles moving into your neighborhood

pedophiles moving into your house

pedophiles moving into your church

meteor hitting the earth

several meteors hitting the earth simultaneously

George W. Bush

CDs that skip

any appliance breaking, especially a refrigerator filled with food on a 90 degree day

no air conditioning in the summer

no heating in the winter

terrorists

overpriced gasoline

non-existent gasoline

finding an overdue library book

losing your keys

having your identity stolen

losing all your data in a computer crash

finding a growth

biopsies

dryer fires

going blind

Karl Rove

AIDS

disease du jour

unwanted pregnancy

infertility

finding out your spouse is a bigamist

flesh eating tumors

viruses

bacteria

aliens from outer space

aliens from other countries

getting fired

being married to your job

domestic violence

Dick Cheney

plane crashes

cloning

wetting/soiling your pants

nothing but reruns on television

all first run shows on television that you must see

being hit by lightning

having your elevator fall to the bottom of the shaft

getting the shaft

first dates


Sweet dreams.