Have you been noticing lately how men are going on killing rampages like it's their job?
What's up with this?
There's this 60 year old guy in Jersey City who killed his wife and dismembered her body. He put her head in a bowling ball bag.
Listen future murderers of America, don't put the head of anyone you've killed and dismembered in a bowling ball bag. It's way too obvious. Think of something else. I know, I know it seems like a natural place since balls and heads have similar shapes, but just don't do it. Put a little more thought into the hiding places you select.
Then this forty-something guy walks into his "church" in Wisconsin and blows away seven people or so before he shoots himself.
Now this is really inconsiderate. If you're going to kill yourself, please do it first, before you kill anyone else. Better yet, leave a note so that your motive is explained. There's no reason potential homicidal maniacs can't follow some basic rules of good taste.
Also, beware of people who attend "church" in hotels on Saturdays. There is just something basically wrong with this scenario. If you're going to church, go to an actual church and do it on Sunday.
Let's not forget Brian Nichols, the rapist who ended up shooting several people in the courthouse as he made his getaway.
Corrections Officials: Don't have teeny weeny women guarding huge men accused of crimes any more violent than shoplifting.
And let's not forget our BTK guy in Kansas.
"Oh, gee, he was just a normal, church going guy," they say.
Well, obviously not. Have you seen a picture of this dude? He looks like he got kicked out of Nazi School.
You'll notice I haven't used silly words like "alleged" in this post. I call 'em the way I see 'em. Let's all be Politically Incorrect.
3 comments:
The good news is as far as I'm concerned Saturday is for bowling so don't worry about me going to "church" at the local Holiday Inn. Except maybe for a quick sample of the wonderful buffet they put out. But I do mean quick. Just in and out. And in this case I'm sure you'll agree a second use for a bowling bag is okay. It holds ALOT of food! But as far as politically correct is concerned I'm not sure about the politically but I do know it would be woefully incorrect to forget to keep separate bowling bags for my food smuggling and head storage.
(Sorry can't resist the bowling bags for my weekend beheadings. It's just too perfect. Also I find if I just kinda of drop it off at the airport terminal it creates even further excitement. Nothing better than a bomb squad being relieved that the bag doesn't contain a bomb - until they realize that what they're happy about is that the bag only contains a human head which they are now holding by the hair away from their bodies just in case it's loaded. The combination of relief, caution and disgust cannot be described. You just had to be there.)
You must have quite a collection of all-purpose bowling ball bags.
yes indeed. quite a collection. they call me The Boss. when i walk into the bowling alley they cry, "heads will roll".
Post a Comment