First of all, kids, it's not Valentime's Day. It's Valentine's Day, with an "n," not an "m."
That's because it is really Saint Valentine's Day. Saint Valentine was allegedly a real person whose feast day is February 14th. In the Catholic church a feast day usually means the day a saint was martyred or died from natural causes. Not a real cheery day in my book, but those saints were a real gung-ho bunch and couldn't wait to ride to heaven on the Soul Train.
We're talking about someone who allegedly died 1,735 years ago. As you can imagine, truth and reality can blur over that much time. We can say with certainty that Valentine was not a founding father of Hallmark Cards nor was he a teleflorist.
In the never-ending battle between the pagans and the Christians, Saint Valentine was condemned to death for trying to convert a pagan honcho, and got hisself beat to death with clubs (not hearts, spades or diamonds). He was not on the World Poker Tour. He was also stoned, but not in a good way.
There is a legend that Valentine sent notes to Christians who were imprisoned for their faith and thus the origination of sending "valentines" to one's loved ones.
There is another story that he wrote the jailer's daughter a good-bye note and signed it "from your Valentine."
Then again there was the St. Valentine's Day Massacre which took place in Chicago on February 14, 1929. Al Capone allegedly arranged the shooting deaths of members of Bugsy Moran's gang. Thankfully routine shootings have not become part of the Valentine's Day tradition despite other references to being "shot" with Cupid's arrow.
So, somehow despite its history, American marketers have managed to turn February 14th into a capitalistic cash cow.
Should one overlook the importance of celebrating Valentine's Day with one's loved one by lavishing him or her with gifts, you may find yourself being beaten or shot although you might hope to be stoned before that happens.
Happy Valentines Day!
1 comment:
I remember as a kid noting the constant correcting of us kind that it was Valentines not Valentimes day. I use to think, so why are they pushing Valentines, obviously Valentimes sounds much better.
My other problem was Ballantine Beer. It took me awhile to discern it wasn't Valentime Beer. Again I couldn't believe those goddam nitpicking grownups. Always looking to complicate things. Never letting things just be as they naturally emerged from the mouths of us much wiser children.
Thank God I learned early on that there was no argument on how to pronounce Tom Collins.
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