Friday, February 04, 2005

Cooking

There is a channel you will never see on my television if I'm home and in control of my faculties. It's the Food Network.

It's loaded with people who actually like to cook. Incredible that there are enough of them that they can fill up an entire network.

Apparently (if you can believe everything you see on television) there are people who invent incredibly elaborate menus and various dishes that take hours to prepare. AND THEN THEY SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT!

And get this ...there are actually people who watch this stuff!! If you take it one step further, these same viewers are preparing these dishes in the privacy of their own homes!

I'm amazed. I would sooner watch someone have a colonoscopy than watch someone prepare Mahi-Mahi with Pureed Cucumber and Mango Sauce.

Of course, I am someone who only goes into the kitchen to dust occasionally and prepare such favorites as Cereal Out of a Box into a Bowl.

But if there can be a Food Network, I think I'm going to lobby for The Menu Network.

Just a continuously running loop of takeout menus from various restaurants with their phone numbers. Makes a hell of a lot more sense to me.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think it should be the law that when they do one of those cooking shows they should have to show every aspect of cleanup as well. Otherwise its just lies and deceit. And by cleanup no pouring gasoline on all the pots and pans and then lighting a match is allowed. That'd be too easy.

I love your idea of a takeout channel. Makes me want to say, "What's cooking babe?"

But that would be too presumptuous of course. I don't even know if indeed you are a babe. I mean I don't know whether you are a girl or not. If you are a girl, I'm sure you are a babe.

Anonymous said...

God I'm HUNGRY!