Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of the Presidency

What's not to like about Governor Rick Perry you may ask? He's good looking in that gnarly Texas fashion, he loves Jesus, he thinks Social Security is a Ponzi scheme and he wants to be the President of the United States! Why shouldn't we just turn the country over to him right now?

God talks to him too. God told him to stay in Texas by sending 30 inches of rain after sending a drought to get him the hell out. That God! Always changing His mind.

And of course, the Governor is very pro-life. Well, let's rephrase that. He's very anti-choice when it comes to abortion. He ponders how you can get up and look at yourself in the mirror every day if you can't be for life? The fact that 234 people have been executed under his governorship is beside the point. People flock to Texas because it's so dang hard to get an abortion there. It's being out of utero when it gets tough to be a Texan.